The Brain in Love

I never had time for love (though I have had my share of crushes). Love as in, going around trees, etc. I thought it’s fooling around. I was more interested in the mechanics of intelligence, the intricacies of Darwin’s evolution theory and figuring out whether the serial comma that I put in my novel’s first chapter’s first sentence’s last segment really worked. Love was not a nerd thing. But enter Helen Fisher. “There’s science of love,” she said. “Science?” I gulped. Now that was interesting.

Yep, there’s a whole big deal of science behind love. Something as simple as love. Something as complicated as love.

To put things in context, humans’ basic job on this planet is to reproduce and ensure survival of the species. Romantic love is just a means to an end—producing offspring. That is speaking in strictly evolutionary terms. Say this stuff to a love struck couple and they’ll scorn you as a heartless nerd who wants to break down everything into scientific elements. “You don’t just get the essence of it,” they’ll say.

Love happens in three stages.

Lust: That’s the first stage. That’s when the hormones—testosterone and estrogen—involved in the process kick to action. The stage passes quickly.

Attraction: this is the second stage. And this is what we call romance. That’s when you can’t sleep. Every time you pick a book up, your love’s face pops into the mind, and you can’t get any reading done. This is when life is a bed of roses. It’s beautiful and perfect. Your relationship is the most special and most intimate than the others.

Attachment: On to serious stuff. You realize that life after all is not all that perfect. That your lover has her weaknesses and that when she shrieks at the top of her voice to go change the baby’s diaper when you’re glued to the IPL final between Chennai and Rajasthan, life’s not really beautiful. But then there’s security nonetheless. Attachment stage ensures the couple stays long enough for the child to grow up. Because in retrospect, that’s what you’re here for: to rear kids. (heh, though you can do better, of course).

Fore more info on love stages and the neurochemistry of love, check out Helen Fisher's website.

Here's Fisher's talk on her research at the TED conference:

Why We Gossip?

Growing up, I was always obsessed with doing the right things. Don’t lie, don’t speak ill of anybody, don't do copy-paste job on assignments, don’t have multiple sex partners and don’t seduce your best friend’s guy. "Not gossiping” was also one of the tenets of self-righteousness I had imposed upon myself. But whenever the girls in my class cornered each other to pour the latest romance gossip into each others' ears, I would find my propriety wall being chipped away by the dagger of curiosity.

No matter how big a Gandhian you are, you have at some point gossiped: listened to stuff about folks that were not present there and let out the cat of the bag about others too. No one likes to be tagged as a serial gossiper, but we all gossip. And hey, it is OK to gossip.

At least so says science.

You know the deal about evolution (look, you’re on a hardcore Darwinian’s blog, so brush up your knowledge!). Gossip, as researchers have discovered, is a survival mechanism humans have developed over time. In his book Grooming, Gossip, and the Evolution of Language (Harvard University Press, 1996), psychologist Robin Dunbar of the University of Liverpool in England suggested that gossip is a mechanism for bonding social groups together, analogous to the grooming that is found in primate groups.

Primary humans lived in caves in small groups. The resources like land etc. had to be divided among the members of the small groups, so it was essential to keep track of the cheaters and the loyal members. Gossip helped.

Even today, we are mostly interested in gossip about the same-sex individuals. That’s because they are the ones we’ve have to compete with when it comes to finding mates (remember it’s all about producing offsprings!).

All gossip is not good of course. It’s when you don’t do it well enough that you get in trouble.

So how to do the right kind of gossip? Now that’s the million dollar question.

For more on rumor and gossip research, check out the APA site.

What Women Want: Book Review of the Female Brain

The Female Brain
Author: Louann Brizendine
Pages: 278

Ever wonder why your missus experiences fluctuating moods around a certain time every month, or why she flinches from sex after a long day at work? Louann Brizendine is here to answer all your questions. Brizendine, a neuropsychiatrist at the University of California, takes you through the various life stages of a typical woman and explains with wit and humour how the brain wiring and hormones influence her behaviour.

The Female Brain is your politically incorrect book, and it's sure to raise a brow or two, but the author stresses that understanding the structural differences between the female and male brain is the key to resolving relationship conflicts.

A must read for all women – and men who have been perplexed with the question "What does a women want?"